>> hello
my name is tom. i am an 18 year old chinese american student, living in boston. i'm working on a zine called low motion. for more, contact me.

>> four reasons why bush sucks 01.25.01
he's anti-abortion
he's racist
he's reuniting church and state
he's a millionaire

go here for easy grid of issues.

>> ten for 01.20.01
snd "stdio"
sgt. pepper's lonely heart's club band
welcome to the doll house
i'm johnny and i don't give a fuck #4
winona ryder! oh swoon...
hrvatski "raume" 7"
the cute girl reading the comicbook at the store. (who are you? come back!)
mouse on mars
anti-inauguration activities
spray paint

>> ten for 01.15.01
nature monopoly
tekkan chicken @ kingswood
yi yi (a one and a two)
no wave photo archive
madonna inn
wild cordyceps
3.44 gpa
doris zine
low motion
grandaddy

>> friends
anand
athena
ciara
girl/boy
linda
lindsey
peter
shari
mimi
tara
yumi

>> guestbook

>> archived
june
july
august
september
october
november
december

>> sunday, january 28, 2001, 10:34 p.m.

i am listening to le tigre, and avoiding my art history reading. instead of reading, i'm bidding on the yamaha portasound vss-30 and the casio sk-1 keyboards on ebay. how evil and addictive. but i have a soft spot for cheaply made toys. don't outbid me!

i went to central the other day to buy red spraypaint for my zine (which, by the way, i've been working furiously on. i hope you like it). who ever knew that selling spray paint in massachusetts was illegal? argh, maybe the crafts center has some.

speaking of my zine, here's some hype to make you excited. it's going to be somewhere between 48-64 pages half-size. in it, there are stories about paris and other stuff. some writing about asian american masculinity. some old interviews with the vogue and the blood brothers. and a short history of billboard liberation. and more! whet your appetite! it will be done soon, i promise!

besides le tigre, i've also been listening to pluramon, 500 locked grooves, the rocky soundtrack, kid loco, will oldham, goldie, and grandaddy. i find myself DYING to listen to grandaddy every single day. they're so irresistable, i can't function without them. but if i listen to them, i find i must put down whatever i'm doing, and sit and listen and sing.

>> friday, january 26, 2001, 1:24 p.m.

look at me. i'm wearing nikes, bdg pants, a j.crew sweater, a tommy hilfiger coat. i'm a fucking yuppie. i'm so ashamed. is that what people see? i used to say that fashion was empty and stupid, but fashion is more than that. fashion is more than a statement of individuality or conformity. it's more than style; it's more than "cool." fashion is an active political statement. what are your principles? do you support human rights violators (like i have)? do you shop at the thrift store as protest or because it's rad style? or both? do you make your own clothes? (people always laugh when i say that as if it's really far-fetched and inconceivable even when when it's not). i get really frustrated by people who say shit like "well if you don't support nike, those workers will lose their work. and then what?" i'll tell you what. that won't happen because we can make nike pay them more and give them better working conditions. or we can just overthrow nike. or even better, you can just send your own surplus money to those poor people nike fired. why can't some people think outside their sphere of affluence? i also get frustrated with people who are put off by political activism and interest, people who dismiss it as overzealous or whining or too idealistic. i think some people are just scared to face their own conscience or maybe they just don't have one.

martyrdom = strength through weakness. i was thinking about how revolutionary it actually is to give your money to a stranger. and how i would be making myself a martyr if i became a benefactor for revolutionaries, if i sacrificed my dreams and myself to "the man" in order to make money to fund and support other revolutionaries. i could make make a life out of being a patron for "the revolution."

i'm glad i'm taking art history 2. i'm glad i'm learning to appreciate art on more than one level, to look at art critically. i remember going to the museum once with R, and i got really angry and had to sit down because i felt uneasy. all around me, i felt "fakeness and superficialness." those are the words i used at the moment. i think what i meant was that i saw all these people going through the motions to view "high art" because it made them feel better about themselves. "high art" is associated with education and affluence. what i hated was when people would say, "i like this." or "i don't like this." i remember R would say that she didn't like the way the blue faded in the sky of dali's paintings. why? i don't know. but who can make such judgements? art is neither good nor bad.

maybe it's rooted in my relativist philosophy, that there is no right and no wrong, that everything is relative. (blame it on my parents) even the innovative moral system that i've constructed for myself, the morals that don't follow societies moral norms, are relative. no one is right. i remember R asked me to justify stealing as right which i said was okay by my moral standards in certain circumstances. and i couldn't, not that it matters. cause it doesn't prove anything. i'm rambling now, but whatever.

it reminds me of something i heard in this movie i saw the other day. it was called "merry christmas, mr. lawrence!" by oshima, based on the book "the sower and the seed." it starred david bowie as a british p.o.w., "beat" takeshi as a japanese officer and ryuichi sakamoto (who also did the music) as another homosexually repressed officer. an interesting thing i heard in the movie was when mr. lawrence, a british p.o.w. was sentenced to death because ryuichi sakamoto's character believed he had done it.

lawrence: "you're going to kill me because a radio was smuggled into the camp. and you think i did it?"
ryuichi: "yes!"
lawrence: "you would rather punish the wrong man for a crime he didn't commit, than leave the crime unsolved and punish no one!?"
ryuichi: "yes!"
lawrence: "you would rather punish the wrong man just to preserve your own sense of order!"
ryuichi: "yes!!"

>> thursday, january 25, 2001, 10:32 p.m.

this is my cute cousin ashley, age 3.


>> thursday, january 25, 2001, 9:14 p.m.

clinton's aides play prank on g.w.b.

if you've never heard of it, look at linda's latest entry about institutionalized racism.

so the thurston moore/nels cline/zeena parkins show was fun. they played two, hour-long pieces. thurston is still as tall and lanky as i remember him standing with me in the elevator of a hotel in paris 6 months ago. the show was noise for 2 hours. pure sculpted noise. thurston would do unspeakable hammering and strumming on his guitar. i was disappointed that he didn't freak out. nels once used a cellphone to beep into the strings of his guitar to play these spacey tones. that was fun. zeena did the coolest stuff though, on her electric harp. she went insane plucking and gliding and banging. it sounded like a space fight. anyways, it was fun. the crowd was weird. there were 2 11-year old girls sitting in front of me next to a 90-year old lady with a beret, a shawl, and a a cigarette holder.

dilemma: should i go to the party and rock out? or should i do my homework and be a nerd? hmm...

p.s. to all of you searching for arnold schwarzeneggar prank phone calls, go look on napster! ....and i thought i was getting a million visits a day because i was popular. :(

>> wednesday, january 24, 2001, 4:18 p.m.

happy chinese new year. it is the year of the snake (1917, 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989). my brother is a snake. snakes are charming and wise, the snake is ruled by intuition and depth. sometimes stingy, sometimes lazy, the snake must guard against these less developed parts of its personality. also, the snake needs a good joke once in a while. careers as a teacher, writer, philosopher, psychiatrist or fortune teller are best for the snake. some famous snakes: charles darwin, anne frank, mahatma gandhi, martin luther king, abraham lincoln, edgar allen poe.

i am a dog (1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994). dogs are loyal, dependable and very faithful to the ones they love. persistent worriers and nit-pickers, they can be irritating to others at times. dogs make wonderful activists, teachers, and secret agents. they are good in business, too. some famous dogs: cher, bill clinton, dorothea dix, benjamin franklin, george gershwin, socrates

>> wednesday, january 24, 2001, 1:33 p.m.

ahahahahahahah mod romulan hair anti-fashion!!!!!!!

>> wednesday, january 24, 2001, 12:05 p.m.

"i'm a self-labeled sex activist" - andi young '02, yale.

as a favor to myself and miye, i'm seeing hauk buen, a "norwegian master" hardanger fiddle player, play here on friday. it says on the poster, "beautiful playing...if bach grew up in norway, this is the music he would play." - matt glaser, biographer of stephane grappelli. it costs a whole $10, but it will be worth it. just think of those fools who pay upwards of $85 for u2 tickets.

did you know that godzilla was originally meant to symbolize america's destructive threat in ww2? that godzilla represented the conflicting desires to both forget and remember the war atrocities?

i got a really great mix tape yesterday from peter, which i've been listening to all day. my mix tape and the beatles can combat joel's rainer maria and braid. grr! scratch! i don't know about their questionable politics, but le tigre is pretty funky. but i heard some people boycotting mr. lady records before. why is that?

>> tuesday, january 23, 2001, 1:38 p.m.

ah fuck. why why why? i wonder if george w. is afraid someone will just up and assassinate him. he should be. this is the first real election i've paid attention to, and that i've consciously lived through, because all i can remember thinking since i was 10 was "bill seems like a nice guy. yeah, i like him, i guess." it feels like a true nightmare. i first started thinking about the possibility of a bush presidency when my brother mentioned, "bush promised to wage war on taiwan if they make any more trouble for china. he said we've already given them enough warnings." i wouldn't want to be drafted and go to war against my dad and then both of us will just get killed. i'm thinking of war because i just read this bulk packet on japan-america post-ww2 relations for my east asian cinema class. and we just watched this movie called "grave of the fireflies" which was a personalized account of the japanese experience in ww2 by those who weren't directly involved in the war, but were directly affected by it. what does it mean for a japanese-american, thinking about ww2?

i'm listening to melt banana right now. to satisfy my noise quotient for the day. and it is satisfying, and energizing. lately, i've been listening to lots of "energy music," as i like to call it. including merzbow, melt banana, kid 606, richard devine, hrvatski, sonic youth. and when "energy music" isn't suitable, i am listening to "mood music" for the sensitive side of tom. this means snd, mouse on mars, kid 606, grandaddy, a minor forest, cerebus shoal, and mogwai. mmmyeah, just look at those wispy marshmallows in the sky. and when "mood music" is too quiet and "energy music" is too fast, i get my groove on to zion i, takako minekawa, daft punk, prefuse73, and push button objects. but then again, i have also been known to dance to melt banana... what are you listening to?

>> monday, january 22, 2001, 1:10 p.m.

see what religion you really are.

>> monday, january 22, 2001, 12:33 p.m.

i showed andy my old cometbuses last night. andy, who's never read a zine before. andy, who doesn't understand why aaron doesn't just sell his stories for a million bucks and make some money. it's not a bad thing, and i'm glad he loves the stories.

lately, i feel less and less connected with my current surroundings, yet at the same time, more and more confident with what i want out of life, and how i want to do it. though i'm finding that i relate to less and less people, who i want and what i know is becoming more clear. since i'm beginning to really learn about myself, i guess now is the time to begin putting myself into action. last night, i was talking with andy about eric, how he ditched college and got a job. he got a job working on computers for the specific purpose of saving up to take a trip around the world. he's leaving for cambodia to teach english in a couple days, and he's just going to see "where the wind blows" after that. to me, that seems like an exciting, fascinating, and romantic way of life. as long as i have a backup plan, some kind of life that i know i'll go back to.

interesting things:
rTMark (barbie liberation front, www.gwbush.org, media intervention art) is an interesting culture jam anti-corporate corporation type thing. they are doing something at the zeitgeist gallery in cambridge on 3/30.
dangerous waves is a new exhibit at the school of the museum of fine arts. thurston moore, nels cline, and zeena parkins are playing a show at the opening on wednesday at 8pm for $20 (i know it's expensive, but it's worth it!), and the exhibit will have a sound hallway with sound installations by students, teachers, and musicians. it's going to be cool! you should check it out!
beantown zinetown 4 is happening at emerson college on 3/18. everyone should go. rumor has it that rockstars from portland might be there.

>> sunday, january 21, 2001, 5:49 p.m.

i went to the gym today. for real. it was exciting. i went on the bike for 20 minutes and i feel fantastic. i did a tricep workout too! i have this 100% fool proof iron man workout which goes like this: right when you wake up, before you eat breakfast...do 30 jumping jacks, 30 pushups, and 30 situps. in that order. if you do it every day, soon you'll be like the incredible hulk. these new workouts aren't to fhelp one it into the conventional standards of beauty, but rather to feel stronger and energetic like a wombat and less lethargic and sluggish like a two-toed sloth. after a few months, i swear i'll be able to kick ass.

i remember one time, i told R that we weren't compatible because "our lives were going in different directions" and i couldn't explain it any better than that, and it was frustrating to both of us. but now i think i understand it better after thinking about that very situation and life in general lately. (thanks to ciara,) i think it means that i wanted to live out my ideals and my principles, which didn't conform with society's norms. and rebecca either conformed...or her ideals and principles were just much different from mine. but that is the most succinct way i can say why i decided we should break up. if she reads this, i don't know what she will think.

>> saturday, january 20, 2001, 4:03 p.m.

my punk friend geoff went up to d.c. today to protest the inaugurations. i should have done that too. for up to the hour updates on d.c. anti-inauguration happenings, check out the independent media center. i have plans to make a banner to hang outside my window reading, "king george! unelected resident! not my president!" there are protests going on in copley center today (hint, hint to boston residents), and i think i'm going to show my support...or rather my outrage and disapproval.

i'm going for a new look. out is going this staid, conservative look. in is coming the no wave, action kid look. it's not just cause i'll be the rockingest kid on the block, but it marks progress in my lifestyle and my ideology. where can i get red spraypaint?

>> thursday, january 18, 2001, 10:47 p.m.

i need help with this guest book. after i was fooling around, i fucked up the colors and stuff. and even after restoring the defaults, it still doesn't work. :(

joel just got a cd burner and we're going apewild because he gets all of his blank cd's for like 10 cents. muwahahaha.

i wish i had dreams like this.

i have a dream! i dream of living in a house full of friends. a house where any zinester who needs a place to crash can stay. a house where the inhabitants rotate on a need-first basis. it can be a place to hide or a place to open up. it would be a place where everyone would cook and work for the benefit of the house. people could hold shows and hold photo exhibits and film screenings in the basement. and throw parties. and there would be a special zine supply room with the big stapler and different stocks of paper and paper cutters and a communal photocopier. who's gonna join me??

>> wednesday, january 17, 2001, 10:06 p.m.

today was the first day of classes. i think this term is going to be good. i'm excited about my art, politics, and culture course. and my east asian cinema course. the rest i'm taking only because they said i have to.

i keep noticing these flourescent stickers around campus that say "imagine a campus free from homophobia" and i just want to put up a sticker over every one of these, reading "imagine a society free from homophobia" or "imagine a world free from homophobia." i guess it is important to start small, but still. i found the pin nicole gave me (it was really nice of her) that reads "boycott homophobia" today, and am now proud and happy to wear it. it's cooler and more exact and more righteous than the square rainbow "tglbc" pins i see every now and then.

everyone go see spanfish.com. they develop your rolls of film for free! all you have to do is pay 1.69 per roll for shipping. no catches!

i'm so tired i need sleep.

>> monday, january 15, 2001, 09:15 p.m.

how do you like the new design? it was influenced by the raster|noton school of minimalist electronic music and design. white is the neu black. anyways, i trimmed the site of all its extra fat, and you're left with the simple design. now i no longer feel like i'm a tara pitas knockoff. her site still rules though!

i've been busy working on my zine. i just dug up all my old favorite and reread them. after i read doris, i wanted to redo the entire thing even though i'd been working on it all weekend. i feel like i'll never live up to doris or cometbus. those are like the king and queen of zines, i guess. anyways, my originally personal/art zine is beginning to house some politics/revolution! i'm not sure though; it could be really trite and not-so-revolutionary because i haven't been really keeping up with things. so what i think might be political and revolutionary might actually just be the same old stuff you've already hashed and rehashed.

it's fuckin 30 degrees in boston. i don't want to go back! even though southern california is overrated, it's WARM! boo hoo hoo.

>> saturday, january 13, 2001, 06:11 a.m.

oh wow. please check out sabrina's fantastic page of links. it's the best pages of asian am/feminist/queer resources i've ever seen. check out her zine, bamboo girl too. it rocks.

by the way, i got my driver's license today. so wahoo for that.

>> Thursday, January 11, 2001, 07:37 p.m.

Fuck, this page is ugly. I'm running out of colors and pictures; I'm sorry. I promise that as soon as I get halfway into Comp Sci 10, I'll come up with some fantastic design.

I haven't been updating much recently because of one or more of these reasons: (1) I'm learning how to drive. The driving test is tomorrow at 4 AM. I'll explain later. (2) I've been becoming California's mightiest Monopoly champion. Always buy orange! (3) This outlet is fast becoming useless, boring, and redundant because I've been poring all spare energy into my zine. (4) I'm busy finding out whether I've had a caucasian ancestor and pondering the implications of such a reality.

>> tuesday, january 9, 2001, 02:38 p.m.

i gotsta drive.